There's a saying that goes something like, "...let go of something you love, and if it comes back to you then it was always yours." I learned this last Sunday, as I groggily got out of bed and readied myself for FMA training last Sunday morning, something I had not done for awhile now. I had been busy with personal things to take care of, but maybe a part of me didn't miss it too... And the saying above wasn't meant in the classic sense people have come to tribulate. With me I let go something I had hung tightly to, but was it more something for me to see if I would come back to it, or if it would come back to me...? Maybe a little of both....
For some reason 2013 felt like an off year , maybe too much in life was circling around waiting to happen and suddenly parts of my world became up front, and other things become out of focus, maybe even routine, and not as much fun. Maybe some self doubt in what I have learned and knew were setting in, and questioning if I was spending too much time in something that was robbing me of other things, time with family, and other interests. I think I got my answer.
After a 2 month hiatus, I came back to my FCS Kali Family in San Diego last Sunday, and trained with our Group. It was good to see that a couple new regulars - Feliz and Tracee were still training with the Group, and a couple old regulars, James and Patrick still showing up with Ed and Bernard, but today there were 3 fresh new faces taking in our FMA, Noel, Brian, and Daniel. As I walked up to our stage where we have sweated, scraped, bruised and even bloodied ourselves, the old feelings were coming back, the excitement to train in our Art, the ember is still there and just needed to be stoked. As I quietly came into line with my brothers and sisters in training, I reflected, this is far from over, we are still here, San Diego has not dwindled to nothing. ...Warming up I thought, I missed seeing the original members, the bright kids that were an inspiration seeing them doing so well, the camraderie, the tribe, the Family. We had come far, but then somewhere in the middle and even at the start of 2013, people got busy with other things, which is understandable and part of life.
Now for me, I think my "breather" has been long enough, and with other things settled, it's time to get busy training again. As I was doing drills with my partner, I thought... I still remember some of the training after all, a little rusty, and I'm sure a bit ugly - something Kuya Ed and Bernard will point out and clean up as usual later, but it was still there. The core is still here, quietly going about it's business, we can build this back up. It's time to call out the original and founding members, and participants of FCS Kali San Diego.
This is a Calling to FCS Kali San Diego's original founding members and participants, lets get back in it. Find that ember and stoke it, when we first started FCS Kali here in San Diego, we all had something that inspired us to learn and be a part of it, find it again. Come back with more balanced priorities, and that's OK, as long as we remember what we wanted from our FMA, coming back will be easier than you think. Your FMA is likely still there, it hasn't left you, it's just waiting for you to come home.
Hopefully we will see you soon...."Umuwi ang aking kapatid na lalaki at babae."
Erwin
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